FAMILY FEUD

Family Feud

As soon as the twins arrived home the same two questions have been asked by almost everyone I have spoken to.  “Do you plan to hire a nanny?” and “Once the hubby leaves do you have help set up?”

First of all I have never been a fan of nanny’s.  I don’t really know why but I suppose the thought of someone else raising my children just doesn’t sit well with me.  I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my children, so why would I pay someone to help raise them?  Now as for the issue of extra help, I have six other children and let me tell you the fighting has already started.  Yes you read correctly they have been fighting over who gets to help with what and how unfair it is that so and so held Thatcher for 8.5 minutes and they only held him for 8.2 minutes! 

Perhaps it was actually myself who started this family feud, after all I thought it was a great idea to start the assembly line and teach them all how to change diapers, (yes even the 4 year old helps), change Thatcher and Tanners clothing, how to hold them, and how to feed them and burp them when they are bottle fed.  Little did I know that dirty diapers and spit up would have no negative effect on my warped children.  At times I have been slightly overwhelmed as I have had too much help and they want to do it all leaving me with nothing to do but the other household chores such as laundry, dishes and the cooking.

Lucky me.

Then we have the sanitizer police.  That would be my oldest son Joshua.  If you dare visit this household of plenty be sure to put sanitizer on before even thinking about coming anywhere near the twins or you will be attacked with an oversized jar of sanitizer and an 11 year old soon to be black belt informing you of the hazards of touching the babies with germy hands.  Not a pretty sight.

I suppose I should accept this extra help with open arms as I am sure once the babies become more mature and start to look and behave a little less like dolls and more like real babies (the crying spells – colic anyone? No sleeping – getting the picture now?), the novelty will wear off and they will run away when I dare ask for help, or maybe it will be me who will be running?

A New Journey For The 6packmom

A New Journey for the 6packmom

There are no words that can express the feelings a parent goes through when you are told one of your children may die before they even have a chance to enter the world.  The only words that I can use to express how I felt when told one of my twins may not make it due to him suffering from the beginning of Twin to twin transfusion and being IGUR is complete shock, disbelief and a feeling of complete emptiness.

Every week I would make the trip downtown to Mount Sinai to have an ultra sound to check on the babies development and growth.  Every week I would feel the stress of knowing the ultra sound may show that one of the babies was no longer alive or being told they have to deliver them immediately.  Finding out you are pregnant with not just one baby but identical twins should be a joyous time – not one filled with stress and constant worry.  One of the hardest things that I had to endure each and every day was not just being on limited / bed rest but attempting to appear as though everything was okay for the sake of my other six children.  My two oldest children who are still young at ages 11 and 13 knew more than the others but not everything.

The OB I was seeing each week is one of the top Dr.’s in Canada when it comes to Twin to twin transfusion so I knew being at Mount Sinia I was receiving the best care possible.  I was told from the start that the first milestone to get to was 24 weeks then 28 weeks.  When I reached 30 weeks I was relieved and started to feel less stressed out as I knew if they were to be born my little boys chances of survival were excellent.  32 weeks passed and finally I reached 34 weeks and they had to be delivered.  January 29 2011 at 4:58am and 4:59am Thatcher Ike Kowdrysh and Tanner Adam Kowdrysh entered the world.  Although they were pre-mature we were so fortunate in that they had no real major health issues.  Tanner’s weight was very low at just over 3lbs but being IGUR we expected that.  Thatcher’s weight at just over 5lbs was very good.  They had a few breathing issues, low blood sugar and jaundice and Thatcher has a heart murmur due to some tiny holes in his heart that are known as ASD’s.  These should cause no health issues and have no impact on what his level of physical activity can be.  As well they should close on their own within the first year.

So I had thought I was done having children after my sixth was born four and half years ago, but obviously someone had other plans and I couldn’t be happier.  I have been blessed with not six children but eight and wonderful friends and family that are able to be part of their lives. Once pregnant with Thatcher and Tanner the journey of the 6packmom became a journey of 34 weeks filled with worry, stress, and the unknown, yet we were able to beat the odds and I became a mom again to two beautiful little boys who in my eyes are my little miracles – and now a new journey begins.

THE EATING GAME

            Many times I have been accused of ‘spoiling’ my son Joshua when it comes to eating – or shall I say lack of eating.  However dealing with an ASD – specifically aspergers, can leave a child dealing with so many issues on such a high scale that really his lack of variety in his food choices doesn’t really bother me as much as it used to.

            Having six children makes meal times somewhat chaotic anyhow, so having one child who refuses to eat the same food as his siblings due to the smell, look, and whatever else bothers him doesn’t really affect us.  The good news is that the rest of my children are great eaters in particular my two daughters.  They are usually willing to try anything and rarely complain about any food that is put on the table. 

            That being said, every child is not going to like the same foods all the time so I try to offer a variety of choices at each meal.  This avoids me becoming a short order cook and assists in keeping my sanity in check.  For example for dinner I might make chicken, pasta, cooked veggies and garlic bread.  My daughters will gobble it all, some of my boys will avoid the cooked veggies but still get a handful of veggie goodness in the pasta sauce, and Joshua will eat the garlic bread – not much but at least he is eating something. 

            Joshua’s eating issues used to really stress me but over the years I have come to realize that it is due to having an ASD and sensory issues, and has nothing to do with me or how I parent my children.  If my parenting skills were in question well then I suppose all my children would have eating issues, but they don’t they are typical children with typical eating habits.

            Joshua is growing, healthy and strong so I know he is getting what he needs and that is all that matters.  Do I hope he is able to experience more enjoyment in a variety of foods as he gets older rather than just the handful he will have now?  Of course I do, but I am not counting down the days until that happens, but what about you?  Do have picky eaters in your house of plenty, or do you have children that enjoy all foods?  How do you deal with meal times?  I look forward to hearing that I am not the only one who deals with eating issues.

Until next time

The6packmom

 

The Challenge of 2011

I’m Posting every week in 2011!

I’ve decided I owe it to myself to blog more,so rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog at least once a week for all of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy with the twins being delivered any day now but I am sure it will be inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similiar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

The6packmom

You have too many children when…..

1)      Complete strangers feel compelled and welcome to comment on your fertility and contraceptive methods.

2)      Friends announce how many people they’re feeding at Thanksgiving and it’s fewer people than in your family.

3)      Two of your children go for a walk and get asked by a new neighbour if they’re foster kids.

4)      You have to carry two health insurance cards in your wallet- because that’s how many it takes to fit everyone’s name.

5)      You take the wrong child to the dentist simply because your handwriting on the calendar was messy and you thought the    “A” was a “J”

 6)  Grocery shopping for 6 children and 2 adults for a 2 day trip constitutes a “small” shopping trip for you.

 7) You find yourself relating some small incident to your husband and starting with the words, “Well, I only boiled 16 eggs for breakfast…”

 8) You buy a 20 lb box of bananas intending to make banana bread and freeze a bunch for smoothies…but your children eat them all first.

 9) You find a root canal relaxing.

 10)  It takes you twenty-three minutes on the phone to schedule your children’s dental appointments.

 11)   You’ve given up on using your toaster entirely and make all of your toast under the   broiler in the oven.

 12)   You find yourself thinking, “Wow, the house is so quiet and peaceful with only four children”.

 13)   You have three laundry baskets devoted entirely to those lonely socks seeking their mate.

 14)   When you got to buy your children those cool “spin toothbrushes” because you think they get their teeth so much cleaner…but the store doesn’t carry enough styles/colors for your children to each have a different toothbrush.

 15)   When you still have four children that are required by law to sit in a carseat or booster seat.

 16)   You call the doctor to get your children their flu shots, and they tell you they don’t have enough in the office and need to order more from the health department.

 17)  You spend fifty dollars on socks and not everyone gets new socks.

 18)  You go shopping at Costco and the cashier asks if you’re having a barbecue for the local soccer team.

19)   When you book into a hotel and have to pay for two rooms because you’re only allowed 4 to a room.

 20)   You don’t qualify for any family rates (ANYWHERE) because you have more than 4 children.

“Opps I did it again!”

So as most of you who follow my blog are aware that my husband works out of the Province and is only home next to never.  So after five months of being away he came home at the begining of June and was here for almost a month.  I have to say that he was very productive while here.  Spent time with the kiddies, gave me a whole new laundry room, renovated the kitchen and gave me a new baby.  Yes that is correct, due to some technical difficulties with birth control we are expecting our 7th child in February 2011.  I am still picking my jaw up off the floor and adjusting to the fact that I am about to turn 41 and am pregnant again.  The actual due date is March 10 but it will be another c-section (the 5th – it is possible to have more than 2) so therefore the c-section’s are usually done during the 38 week so that brings us to the end of Feb.

The funny thing though is that even though I have been pregnant six times I am still pouring over the books (updated ones of course) obsessed with counting down the weeks, how I look (getting bigger already) and just being pregnant in general.  It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been pregnant – nothing changes (for me anyway) I still find the thought of a tiny being growing inside my body fasinating and well quite obsessive.  I think about it all day and half the night when I am back and forth to the bathroom.  I also curse my husband for doing this while I am standing over the toilet and while I drag myself around forcing myself to stay awake.  This is the thing I cannot stand.  The tiredness!  I don’t think I was ever this tired.  I am sure it has nothing to with the fact that I have six other children to run after, my age and that I am on my own here…..LOL.

So although this an “Opps I am pregnant again!” I am excited and look forward to not only sharing my adventures with six, but the adventures of having another on the way.  If I wasn’t insane before, I must be close now.

Until next time

The 6packmom + 1

WHERE DO THE SOCKS GO?

I have never had what you would call a good relationship with my washing machines.  They hate me.  They either develop disgusting mold in their rims, froth at the lid, or jerk across the laundry room.  But mostly they have a sock deficiency that defies all reason.

            Men do not understand this.  They are too rational.  My husband leads the list.

            “If the socks are not coming out in pairs my dear, then that’s because you didn’t put them in.” He says flatly.

            I look at him closely and give him the evil mommy look.

            “I know I put them in smart ass.  I took the Pokemon socks of Joshua’s feet while he was sleeping, Sebastian handed me two pairs of soccer socks, I found a black pair of Ryleys sock’s stuffed in the air conditioning vent, and Arielle’s Pink with purple polka dots ones were in her school bag.” 

            I could tell that Paul thought I was seriously losing it.

            “As you can see,” I continued. “I now have only five socks because their partners are missing!”

            “Well I see a pair of green ones that match.” He replied smugly.

            “Of course you see a pair of green ones that match because those are the ugly socks that nobody wants!”

            Sometimes I wonder why I married him.

            “Are you sure you aren’t drinking too many wildberry’s while I am away?” he asked.

            Ignoring him I decided to let him on my theory.

            “I think there is some secret trap door in that damn washer that sucks in one sock from each pair and holds it hostage. Somewhere in that evil machine is a treasure of mismatched socks I’m telling you.”

            “A couple of wildberry’s to get you through Zachary’s freakish meltdowns?  I can understand…..”

            “If we could just find this little trap door in there I would be a hero to all mothers out there…”

            Exasperated Paul stuck his head into the washing machine and started banging, pulling, cursing, then gave a big sigh.

            “Look there is nothing in here.  Why don’t you try putting the socks in a little laundry bag -”

            I really wanted to punch his face.

            “I have put them in a little bag by two’s, as pairs, and you know what? When the laundry is finished I take out the little bag and it’s intact.  But there is still one pair from every sock missing!  I tell you it’s driving me crazy…. do you realize I have a bin upstairs full of about fifty mismatched socks who are all missing their partner?” 

            Paul looked at me with what I swear was a glimmer in his eye.

            “Maybe they just all wanted a divorce.”  He said smirking.

            “What the hell?  How can you make jokes about this?  Seriously?  Do you not care that your children look like little orphans with mismatched socks every morning?  What am I going to do?”

            “Well for starters maybe you should cut out the afternoon wildberry’s and try to forget about the whole secret trap door thing.”

            Forget?  Cut out the afternoon wildberry’s?  I told you men just don’t get it.  Maybe I should let the secret trap door suck me up so my husband would lose his partner.

NEIGHBOURHOOD FRIENDS

            There isn’t a time when my house doesn’t seem to have more children then I gave birth to.  It’s as though people think that because I have six children I have a free drop in centre or I really won’t notice any more children.  Well I guess the truth of the matter is sometimes I don’t.

            Take the other day for instance we were sitting around the table when my oldest daughter asked me how many siblings she had.

            “Five.” I answered thinking surely she must have fallen out of her bed last night and banged her head.

            She looked at me with a serious expression. “There are eight children eating lunch right now at our table. Who doesn’t belong here?”

            I was stuck.  One had my eyes, the other my nose, a couple of them had my hair….. I was getting really confused.

            “Okay would the real Kowdrysh children stand up please?”

            The children all exchanged dramatic glances.  One slid his chair back as though he was going to stand up, but changed his mind.  Five other children slowly stood up and Marie looked at me with a glint of satisfaction on her face.    A poor little blonde girl just hung her head as she continued to eat the food I had just served her.  I kind of felt bad, but on the other hand I seriously wondered what these children’s mothers thought when their children disappeared for hours at a time.  Did they re-arrange their rooms?  Go out on lunch dates? Go shopping while they had no child whining and complaining about how they really wished they were at my house?     

            I think it is flattering when my children’s friends want to join our family but there does come a time when I  have to send them home.  I know that time has come when I call their parents to let them know they are safe at my house and they don’t know who I am talking about.  When I noticed they are coming down with something and make a Dr.’s appointment for them.  Or when the school teacher calls and wants to talk to me.

            These two children have definitely been at my house too long.  A few hours ago their parents came by to pick them up and about ten minutes later I called the police to report them missing.

THE NAME GAME

            The moment a woman knows she is pregnant the name game starts.  The name game in our house has always been left up to my husband.  If I have to suffer 9 months of indigestion, reflux, weight gain, varicose veins, mood swings and a baby kicking my insides like some tae kwon do champion then that is the least he can do.  However something that should be so simple often becomes this obsessive issue that goes on for almost the entire pregnancy.  He insists on ensuring that each child has a proper middle name so that the child’s initials means something. 

            For example my oldest daughters initials are M.I.K. giving her the nick name MIK, Joshua’s are JFK, Sebastian’s SDK, Arielle ASK, Zachary ZAK, and Ryley RAK – my husband likes this one the best and says hopefully Ryley will be a boob man when he gets older so he can really appreciate the initials – I think my husband is just a pig.

            Now I must give him credit, the children have lovely names and wonderful initials that mean something (to him at least) however, six children later I can’t even remember who is who.

            The children seem to believe there is something Freudian in the entire name calling thing.  Their attempts to make me feel guilty by claiming that if I really loved them I wouldn’t forget who they are, is useless. I love Mary……. Dick……. Trisha …….. Sam ……… and with the same affection I love Jake ……. Marie ……. Ryley….. Sab ….. okay they know who they are.

            It is a good day when I actually remember what I called the child for in the first place, let alone what their name is.  I mean really they should be grateful for that at least!  Maybe because there are so many children running around and then add the fact that I have lost so many brain cells, I get confused.  I came up with a pretty good solution though.  I call them by number.  “Hey number one get down here!”  Marie is old enough and bright enough to know that she is the first born so typically she will respond. 

            Some don’t get it though like lucky number three Sebastian.  I shouted out to him several times the other day.  “Josh……. Marie……. er…..er…..Sam….number three! Okay how long to have to shout before you answer me?”

            “When you get it right!” he shouted back.

            “Well I was close…wasn’t I?”

            “Sam was sort of close.”

            “Hmmm I always like the name Sam.  I should have told Daddy to give you that name.” I mused.

            “Why then did you name me Sebastian?” He demanded.

            “Well daddy liked it, and it was easy for me to remember.”

Ignorance

Being the oldest sibling of six is difficult enough, but when you add two autistic siblings, and an absent father, well lets just say it can’t be easy.  Marie has had her moments of complaints such as “Everything is about Joshua and Zachary!” which in some cases is true, however, for the most part she doesn’t complain and tries to help me as much as she can. 

School is a different story though,  and I know Marie has often behaves as though she doesn’t know her brother Joshua infront of her friends or has avoided him at lunch recesss when she see’s him all alone picking up things off the ground.  I can’t fault her though, she is twelve and at a difficult time herself as she enters the wonderful journey of puberty, peer pressure and just understanding who she is.  The other day was a different story though and I couldn’t help but be amazed at what she told me.

Marie and her friend (who also just happens to be our neighbour) were working on a project in the music room at school and happened to overhear a group of grade five students talking in the hallway.

Girl # 1: “Who is Joshua G.C?”

Girl # 2: “I don’t know.”

Boy # 1: “He is some loner guy in our class dummy.”

Boy # 2: “Do you mean Joshua K?”

Boy # 3: “No that is the other weird guy in our class.  He is really strange.”

Girl # 2: “Maybe that’s why the two hang out together.”

Laughs from all of them.

At this point Marie and her friend got really ticked off so they went out to the hallway.

Marie: “Hey thats my brother you’re talking about!”

Boy # 2: “So?”

Girl # 1: “Which Joshua is your brother?”

Marie: “Joshua K.”

Boy #1: “Well who cares, both of them are weird.”

At this point Marie told me she started crying a little and our neighbour told them they were really rude.

Marie then spoke up.  “I can’t believe you have been with these two in your class for almost a whole year and can make comments like you do!  Why don’t you go look up the words Autistic and Aspergers! The only people who have issues are the bunch of you!”

Marie and her friend went back to the music room, where Marie was able to really cry without the others seeing her.  She told me she the reason she cried was because she didn’t like people talking about her brother like that because he couldn’t help the fact that he has a disability.  She was also angry that they could be like that when they have been with him in the same class all year, act as though they like him and then talk behind his back like that.

I told her I was proud of her for standing up for her brother like she did and that I agreed with her.  Unfortunately though this is the reality of having a child with special needs.  Ignorance.