Happy driving!

In Uncategorized on May 24, 2010 at 4:48 am


Here is an excerpt from the book I am writing

Confession #5: I used to drive a really hot 7 series BMW.  After my fourth child was born it was replaced with the mommy mobile – a huge ass sport ute.

Parenting experts suggest that when travelling in a vehicle with children, to be prepared.  Have a special bag of activities to help fight off boredom such as travel games, play “I spy”, color pictures, watch a movie blah, blah, blah.  These things sound great in theory until you actually put it to the test with six children all in the same vehicle!  Travel games are wonderful if you like them thrown at you while you are driving.  Why are they being thrown?  Because said children are fighting over who won, who cheated, and who doesn’t know how to play right. Need I go on?

            So for all of you parents attempting to create peace in your vehicles here are few things that have worked for me in my crazy life with six children.

1.  Always keep a bag stashed away full of junk food.  Yes, you read correctly, junk food.  Nothing stops two or more children fighting faster than junk.  I caution you however, do not keep chocolate in the vehicle.  There is nothing more disgusting than pulling out a melted chocolate bar!  The site of a melted chocolate bar is also a trigger for more fighting by children. (I call this chocolate bar blue balls).  Remember, always be one step ahead.  If you insist on being one of those earth muffin moms than I applaud you, and feel free to dish out the healthy snacks and forgo the junk food.  However, I can guarantee you the effect will not be quite as good.

2.  Have a tote full of coloring books for younger children and pads of blank paper or notebooks for older children so they can draw their own pictures or write a story.  CAUTION: If you have leather seating in your said vehicle DO NOT allow pens!  Ink is almost impossible to get off the leather!  Trust me I have experienced this first hand.   Instead, offer pencil crayons, crayons, or regular pencils.  Mechanical pencils can be more exciting, however, there is the possibility of children poking your leather or fabric seats, or simply poking each other. Washable markers would be another option, but I have yet to find markers that are actually really washable. 

3.  An option to watching a movie, is to listen to an audio cassette.  This allows the children to listen rather than have their eyes glued to the tube.  This may however, really start to get on your nerves.

4.  Portable gaming systems are great as long as each child has their own, and is not required to share.  Stuck in a car for too long, sharing can only happen for so long until the fighting starts up again.

5.  For trips lasting longer than ten minutes, pack extra clothing.  Actually it is even better to keep an extra bag in your vehicle with spare clothes and don’t forget the extra towels.

6.  Gravel is my best friend and can be yours too. 

v  If your children like to bicker and fight in the vehicle have them remove their shoes.  You never know when they might be used as weapons in the heat of the moment.  Such as was the following case.

            Zachary was mad at me for being the mean mommy and not taking them to Burger King.  Ryley decides to chime in and start whining for fast food as well.  I give them my mean mommy voice and tell them to shut the hell up please be quiet. It worked.  Crap!  Ryley’s shoe hits my head. Hard.  See what I mean?  Happy driving!





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