8packmom

excerpt from book

In Uncategorized on May 25, 2010 at 5:00 am

Confession #2 I used to be Go-Go dancer and very sexy. Then I had children.

It was never part of the plan to have so many children, it just kind of happened.  I guess it didn’t help that my husband, like most men, loves sex.  (Okay.  I admit it, so do I, but that’s beside the point).  After the first offspring was conceived, it just made sense that by the time she was 6 months old she should have a sibling.  Well it made sense to me at least. And so that is how it started.  I became a baby machine maker of sorts.  Penis in, maybe for more than a few minutes if I was lucky, baby conceived, bye, bye sexy body, baby yanked out, feel like shit, let’s start again!  

            I truly believe that there is truth in the claim that women lose brain cells while pregnant. God knows how many I have lost but I am sure it is in the millions!  Hell, I had six children over the course of 8 years.  If I wasn’t pregnant, I was breastfeeding, if I wasn’t breastfeeding, I was drinking, if I wasn’t drinking then I was pregnant again.  I did make me feel good to be supporting the diaper industry. It’s just too bad they didn’t feel the same desire to support me by handing out free diapers!  I attempted to use cloth diapers, I mean why not? By the time my fourth was born I was up to about 3 loads of laundry a day anyhow.  Yeah right, that really lasted.  Suddenly I had even more laundry piling up, and if I didn’t have a baby on my boob, then I was changing a diaper because everything he took out of my boobs was now coming out – well you get the picture.  I just wasn’t ready to be supermom.  Not yet anyway. 

Speaking of supermoms if you are reading this then please stop now and go buy a Martha Stewart book.  If you choose to continue than I cannot be responsible for the ugly feelings that may be spewed within your brain.

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