Clean Up on Aisle 9!

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Because my husband works/lives out of the Province, I usually have to do the grocery shopping with all 6 children.  It may sound bizzare but it is actually easier to take all of them for the following reasons:

1. My two oldest usually help take the youngest ones in and out of car seats, entertain them by pushing the buggies like race cars, and they are well trained in the art of taking unwanted items out of the buggy that the 4 younger ones have thrown in while I was not looking – unless of course it is something that they have thrown in.

2. Arielle and Sebastian the two devils darlings usually entertain the youngest ones by pointing out all the things that they would want to have, but I under no circumstances will buy …… unless I have lost all control and cannot bear to hear the screams of anguish no perfect mommy here.

3. when I only have the two youngest they throw more tantrums and cause complete chaos because they haven’t the other 4 to keep them occupied.

I am no super mom and it isn’t easy having all of them so once we are parked , I give the scary mommy look.

“Okay you guys I am not kidding no monkey business!  No asking me to buy things, we are here for FOOD not candy and no toys.  Ryley no climbing out of the buggy, Arielle and Sebastian, no running around chasing each other and definately no screaming – Arielle!  Are you listening?” “NO SCREAMING! People are going to think you are a being taken away or something.”  “Marie, Josh no fighting.  Zachary, no calling people poopey head. Ryley no opening packages -”

“Mom! we get it!” says Sebastian.

Once we get into the store people tend to stare or smile – you know the smile I am talking about.  The smile that really is saying “Oh my gosh, is that really 6 children?  Are you crazy, you must be seeing as you have no control over them…”

It is at that point that I turn my gaze away from “the stare” to see Ryley standing in the freezer in the bakery section trying to to get a better view of the cakes on top.

Every time I go into a store I am sure I will get kicked out at some point for life.  I can see the sign by the cashiers…

BANNED FOR LIFE –  CRAZY LADY ARMED WITH 6 CHILDREN ALL UNDER AGE 11! 

Okay my children are not that bad…… most of the time.

As I head down the frozen food section, Zachary starts his usual “It’s cold!  Get out of here, you are all poopey heads!  I AM COLD!  You are mean mommy!”

“I know” I reply distracted.  Distracted by the outrageous amount of money for a bag of milk!  My children can go through a 4L bag in one day, so usually I buy it in bulk when on sale and freeze it.  It seems to me that every week I have to bug my DH for more money because my children are eating more (except for Joshua who has aspergers, ADHD, and a mood disorder but thats for another blog……)  OR my children are  eating more – which is probably the real answer considering Ryley not only knows how to escape from the house but how to open the freezer and get to the Freezies. I confess I do serve all types of junk to my children, it is great for those times when I’ve run out of duct tape sensible solutions. I place a few bags of milk in the buggy and tell the children they are not to drink a whole bag in one day (wishful thinking) when suddenly I hear a voice over the loud speaker.

“Clean up on aisle 9 – repeat – clean up on aisle 9.”

RYLEY! 

 I slowly count to 10, turn around and try not to laugh.  With a look of determination and satisfaction Ryley sits on the floor with an open popsicle box and about 23 popsicles scattered all over the floor.  Shoving a grape one in his mouth he tells us all it is “Yummy”.

The other children and I try to get them back into the box and throw it in the cart.  I pick Ryley up and place him back in the buggy for the 5th time.  If someone could design a seat belt for grocery carts that children actually couldn’t escape from I would be one happy gal!

I tell the children we are done, head over to the cashier so I can once again feel violated over the cost of  groceries, and wonder who is sneaking around to get my photo for my banned for life poster.  I wish I had at least been able to wash my hair today!

So at the end of this typical day, I can give myself a pat on the back for a job well done.  Ryley and the others took a lesson to heart – when you really want something don’t let anything stop you – go for it!