Archive for June, 2010|Monthly archive page


In BOOK EXCERPTS on June 22, 2010 at 3:20 am

Confession #9: In my BTBCD (before the brats came days) I used to dream of happy family gatherings, a  beautifully decorated home, and peace on earth…. now two weeks before school lets out for the holiday break,  I rush to the Dr’s and beg for Prozac.

People who have less than two children often comment how fun Christmas must be in our home with so many children.  Seriously?  Now we know why they only have two or less children if they even have any at all. I really do not do any special planning per say although about a week before school lets out I get into a feverish hyper state and ensure I complete the following:

1. Most important buy LOTS of tylenol Candy canes.

2. Have lots of empty closets to lock the children in hide the presents.

3. Buy all my Christmas duct tape presents early when on sale.

4. Buy lots of alchol juice for the children to drink.

5. Have a good storage of Kleenex.

6. Make sure all flu shots are completed.

7. See my therapist daily before the big day.

8. Get my prescription for Prozac filled.

9. Ensure there is enough Ritalin in the house for those who show any signs of ADHD.

10. Buy myself an updated IPod with good earplugs.

11. Develop an attitude of who cares who ruins the house it’s Christmas.

12. Count the days down to when school starts back and wish my two youngest were full day.

13. Sing “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” when school finally starts back.

14. Thank the heavens that all my children look alike so that when the camera battery is dead and I can’t take any more photo’s I can pull out those from a few years ago and lie smile and say “Oh yes there you are!’  (come on we all do it).

15. So thankful that I have an aspie son who knows how to put together everything better than I do.  Who needs a husband?



In Daily life on June 21, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Being the oldest sibling of six is difficult enough, but when you add two autistic siblings, and an absent father, well lets just say it can’t be easy.  Marie has had her moments of complaints such as “Everything is about Joshua and Zachary!” which in some cases is true, however, for the most part she doesn’t complain and tries to help me as much as she can. 

School is a different story though,  and I know Marie has often behaves as though she doesn’t know her brother Joshua infront of her friends or has avoided him at lunch recesss when she see’s him all alone picking up things off the ground.  I can’t fault her though, she is twelve and at a difficult time herself as she enters the wonderful journey of puberty, peer pressure and just understanding who she is.  The other day was a different story though and I couldn’t help but be amazed at what she told me.

Marie and her friend (who also just happens to be our neighbour) were working on a project in the music room at school and happened to overhear a group of grade five students talking in the hallway.

Girl # 1: “Who is Joshua G.C?”

Girl # 2: “I don’t know.”

Boy # 1: “He is some loner guy in our class dummy.”

Boy # 2: “Do you mean Joshua K?”

Boy # 3: “No that is the other weird guy in our class.  He is really strange.”

Girl # 2: “Maybe that’s why the two hang out together.”

Laughs from all of them.

At this point Marie and her friend got really ticked off so they went out to the hallway.

Marie: “Hey thats my brother you’re talking about!”

Boy # 2: “So?”

Girl # 1: “Which Joshua is your brother?”

Marie: “Joshua K.”

Boy #1: “Well who cares, both of them are weird.”

At this point Marie told me she started crying a little and our neighbour told them they were really rude.

Marie then spoke up.  “I can’t believe you have been with these two in your class for almost a whole year and can make comments like you do!  Why don’t you go look up the words Autistic and Aspergers! The only people who have issues are the bunch of you!”

Marie and her friend went back to the music room, where Marie was able to really cry without the others seeing her.  She told me she the reason she cried was because she didn’t like people talking about her brother like that because he couldn’t help the fact that he has a disability.  She was also angry that they could be like that when they have been with him in the same class all year, act as though they like him and then talk behind his back like that.

I told her I was proud of her for standing up for her brother like she did and that I agreed with her.  Unfortunately though this is the reality of having a child with special needs.  Ignorance.

Cell phone crisis

In Daily life on June 21, 2010 at 5:48 am

I was looking at my new hip cell phone the other day and realized there is a small hazard in having it.  I call it the cell phone crisis.

At least once a day while I am out somewhere I will be summoned to answer my cell phone only to hear the voice of one of my six children saying “Mom we don’t like the babysitter she’s mean.  Can we ditch her and go to the park?”

Remembering I am in a public place, I will attempt to keep my composure and shout “You ditch the babysitter and I will kill you!”

Now for obvious reasons I cannot leave my children in the care of their father or a babysitter without them having my cell number, but then I am left in a precarious situation as my children like to stalk me while I am out.  Some of the things they phone me for are really ridiculous, however if I chose not to answer their calls I would be assaulted with such terrible guilt.  What if they were being hurt, what if the house was on fire, what if, what if, what if…. and so I answer it.  Every time just so my children can electrify me with urgent decisions such as the following:

“Can I have a pop?”

“Can I split a can of pop with Marie?”

“Guess what Ryley did?”

“I got an A on my math test.”

“Guess what daddy said about you?”

My cell phone crisis typically reaches a feverish pitch when I have to be out for more than just a few hours and I am struck with fear by the following call:

“Mom this is Joshua.”

“Give me the phone! Mom this is Arielle, tell Joshua to stop hitting me!”

“I didn’t hit her! She went outside to the neighbours!”

“Mommy ,this is Ryley. When are you coming home?”

Me “Where is the babysitter?”

“She’s on her cell phone, talking to her boyfriend.”

“Mom Joshua hit me again!”

“I kicked you!”

“I’m bleeding! Moooooom!”


Imagine the calls I would get if I had a job?

Party invitation

In Daily life on June 14, 2010 at 2:30 am

The other night Sebastian comes running over to me in a panic.  “When is Ez’s birthday party?” I was confused.  He had just been at a birthday party the weekend before. 

“I don’t know.” I replied. “Isn’t the invitation up on the board?”

Sebastian looked at me as though I had a few too many drinks, which given the way the week had been going that wouldn’t be a suprise.  “No it isn’t on the board.  I gave it to you the other day! What if I miss the party?”

Now I may be disorganized at times but I can honestly say that out of all six children, no one has ever missed a birthday party they had been invited to.  Their own parties yes, others no.

So I did what any other crazy happy parent would do.  I tore apart the kitchen, and my computer area looking for this invitation.  No luck.

By this time Sebastian was crying, and telling me how mean I was that I lost the invitation.  It was at this point that I started to think maybe I was losing it, maybe I wasn’t equipped top deal with six children on my own, maybe I was a mean and bad mother.  How could I misplace a party invitation for goodness sake! 

Feeling like the terrible mother I apparently was I went and got a wildberry, and sat done at my laptop.  Suddenly the notification chimed.  Hate mail no doubt due to my awful parenting skills.

It was Ez’s mother replying.  Yes Sebastian was invited to Ez’s party, but they were not sure when his party was going to be.  They hadn’t planned it yet.   So this so called birthday invitation Sebastian had didn’t even exist.  Whew!  Glad to know it was him with the issues and not me!  Ez’s mother thought it was pretty funny though so at least I didn’t feel like a complete moron, just half of one.

What I found most interesting though about this whole invisible party invitation episode is how our children (well at last mine) can take one little issue, and turn it into a huge ordeal so that we the parent go completely insane attempting to deal with it!  Have you had a situation like this?  I want to know that I am not the only one out there who’s children are making them feel like they have no idea what they are doing! 

Until next time, the 6packmom


The 6th in line

In Daily life on June 8, 2010 at 2:25 am

As Ryley approaches his 4th birthday I often wonder what goes through that mighty brain of his!  Being the last in line of 6 children I have discovered that he has a few attributes of his own.  He is the house hudini who discovered how to escape the house and go live with the neighbors for a few hours before we even realized he was gone.  He is stubborn as an ox, already knows how to take down his siblings, is the household clown and will no doubt be a comedian or a game show host when he gets older.

Part of the sixth childs uniqueness is that he has no history.  No record of his birth, no scrapbook, hell there is maybe one or two photos of him and to be honest I am not sure if they are even of him!  This is the benefit of having so many children that look alike.  Each photo taken becomes a photo of all of them.  The first child has a cupboard full of photos, the 2nd and 3rd child share a cupboard, the 4th and 5th child share a drawer, and Ryley well maybe one or two photos are floating around.  “Yes Ryley that was you, playing in the park.”   “Of course thats you Ryley!  Look at that smile!”

Any illnesses Ryley has had are quite uneventful, his first words with the exception of f*** fell on deaf ears, and his potty training was somewhat of a lonely affair as no one really cared what he did in the bathroom. 

I believe Ryley learned early on that he was the odd guy out, and would have to fight to get his way.  How it must suck to be the last one to sleep in a real bed, or be the last one out of a car seat, to be called the baby all time, or worse be called five other childrens names before your own and half the time that never happens you just get called number 6!  Then of course their are the comparisons.  “Oh look he has his fathers cubby cheeks.” “You’ll never be as tall as your brothers.”  “Why can’t you behave like Zachary?”  The poor guy it never ends.

That being said I believe there is something special about the 6th child who thrives on neglect, the one who can get his own food, dress himself, and just always appear so grown up.

He knows who is and has learned two very important lessons, something his siblings have hard time grasping.  Competition and how to be independant.

Why You Need Friends

In Mommy Politics on June 5, 2010 at 4:52 am

Okay I admit it.  I am part of the Parent council at my childrens school.  I volunteer when I can because I like to be involved in my childrens education particularly because two of them are autistic.  But the other day I overheard another mother make the comment that she doesn’t bother with the parent council because she hasn’t got time to sit around gossiping, drinking coffee, and listening to school politics.  I had to laugh.  Wouldn’t all of us mommy volunteers prefer to be sitting around with the hot looking fathers, but seeing as that isn’t going to happen, then I’ll take the parent council!  Really I have made some good friends at the school, and if it wasn’t for some of them I would probably be a Platnium level bitch by now as opposed to a gold level one.  But her comment did make think about the people that I have met, and so I came up with a list of why a few of these these women have become close friends.

  1. They don’t mind babysitting my children.  All six of them.
  2. They do give me the look when I spend over $500 at Costco, come home unpack it all, then ask to borrow a bag of milk.
  3. They can call me up and order me to get my crazy children out of their house.
  4. Don’t assume I am having an affair just because I comment on a hot daddy.
  5. Doesn’t sulk when you have a mommy’s night out, without them.
  6. Doesn’t feel they have the right to offer advice on your marriage just because they listen to me whine about it atleast three times a day.
  7. After kicking at leasty twenty toys out of their way just to get through my front hallway they don’t ask why I haven’t cleaned up.
  8. After two glasses of wildberry they don’t suggest I stop.  Instead they hand me over the whole bottle.
  9. Don’t suggest I need more sleep, but suggest maybe I really need the hot daddy.
  10. Never say to me six children!  How do you do it?

There you have it.  Show me a mommy who doesn’t need the Parent council and I’ll show you a mommy who gets talked about the ones who do!