8packmom

THIS IS A HOUSE?

In BOOK EXCERPTS on July 12, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Confession # 8: I used to dream of a beautiful spotless home, full of fresh scents, baked goods, and happy smiling children.  Then I woke up.

            I don’t know how many times I have told my children that we live in a house.  Not a playground, not a park, not a zoo. A house.  For some reason my children find this concept hard to grasp.  So one day I decided to spell it out for them so they understood what was expected of them.  

To my dear children

v  This is a house.

v  Any form of vehicle is not permitted in the house.  This includes scooters, bikes, skateboards, roller skates, in line skates, and remote control cars or airplanes.

v  Ring. Ring. Ring. That is the phone.  Answer the phone in a polite voice and say “hello.” Say “Good-bye.”  Better yet, let the answering machine take a message.

v  Shoes go in the cubbie.  The cubbies your father was so kind to set up for you. The hallway floor is not a cubbie.

v  Your bedrooms are a special place for sleeping, not playing.  Find your bed each day.  Try harder.  Most of the time you cannot see your bed or your bedroom floor because they are covered in clutter.  A cluttered room is a messy room.  Mothers cannot breathe in messy rooms. 

v  The bathroom is a friendly place.  It is there when you need and want it.  Toilet lids do not like to be stood on, or jumped on.  It hurts them. 

v  Boys aim into the toilet, not the wall or any surrounding area.

v  Towels like to be hung up, not left on the floor to be stepped on as they cannot see when they are on the floor.  Soap likes to go on your hands not the walls, or counter tops. Yuck.

v  Tooth paste is for brushing our teeth with.  Not for painting on the walls.

            See Mommy being the slave to so many children?  See mommy crawling on the floor?  Be nice to mommy.  Do you want to drive mommy bonkers?  Then shape up.  Try.  Ty harder.

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