8packmom

Archive for September, 2010|Monthly archive page

My vent for the day

In Uncategorized on September 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm

            So the shock isn’t so bad anymore and seeing how fast and huge my belly is getting I am starting to slowly emerge from my denial and accept the fact that I will not be giving birth to just one child, but to two children.  My six pack will soon be expanded to an eight pack and lord help me but I am not sure I can do this.  Eight children?  That part is slowly sinking in but the thought is somewhat daunting.

            I realize that having twins is pretty not out of the ordinary anymore and not considered a big deal to most due to the incredible surge of woman having supertwins (triplets or more) thanks mostly to the invention and higher use of fertility drugs.  However for me, having twins is a big deal because they are identical and I am now considered High Risk.  I never realized or even thought about how much more riskier a multiple pregnancy could be, but because my two little guys share a placenta and outer chorion (yeah don’t ask me!) there is the chance of them developing TTS (Twin transfusion syndrome) this is when one twin gets more nutrients and blood supply from the placenta than the other twin so the one twin doesn’t grow properly.  It can actually cause a lot of issues but I won’t freak myself out by writing about it. LOL.

            I do think though that my two biggest issues right now are being able to get enough rest while taking care of 6 children all on my own, and then taking care of 8 children pretty well on my own when they are born.  Oh I know I will do what I have to do and deal with it the best I can but shit that is a lot of children! Again I realize that eight isn’t as many as some crazy people out there such as the Duggers but let’s look at that family shall we?  First of all I think she is great and so brave to go through so many pregnancies, however she has a husband who is home on a daily basis and she also has so many older children that they are the ones who practically raise the little ones.  They are also able to help with cleaning, laundry etc..

            Then there is the bitchy Kate + 8.  Okay I guess you already realize I don’t particularly like her.  Again though, yes she has 8 and is divorced but she has exploited her children for her benefit so she can achieve the fame that she wanted.  It worked.  Now she has enough money for nannies, body guards (who also seem to help out) has mentioned things on her show (hmmm tummy tuck anyone?) and presto they happen! And how the hell does she get all these people to help her when she goes on trips with the children?  I have never seen her on her own really with them all. They also have one thing that I do not.  They do not have any children with special needs, that I know of.  I am not saying they have it any easier than I will – okay scratch that I guess they do. 

            I guess my take on these reality shows is that to me they are not really reality.  They are staged.  Have you ever seen their homes in complete chaos?  Maybe you see some toys on the floor but they always seem to be on the floor in an organized fashion.  Parents with more than 2 children can understand when I ask where the hell is the piled up laundry that you seem to be behind on AGAIN?  Where are the clothes that typically appear to be scattered all over the house because your children can’t get dressed in just one room?  The socks that they have taken off as soon as they walk into the house where are they?  Coats, shoes, hats on the floor instead of hanging up or in their assigned cubbies?  The fighting between siblings?  Seriously!  Next time you watch one of those shows (if you do) take a really close look and enjoy the view because you sure as hell won’t find any of that in my house!

BIRTHDAY PARTY EXTRAVAGANCE

In BOOK EXCERPTS on September 17, 2010 at 2:05 pm

            Once upon a time birthdays used to be celebrated with family a few friends and a simple birthday cake.  Games such as musical chairs, Tag, Hide n’ seek a few races were all that were required.  What the hell happened?

            Birthday parties now require several months planning and remortgaging your house.  Imagine the stress my husband goes through having to pay for six birthday parties a year! Of course the EMM’s and SM’s are the ones that plan the social birthday party of the year. Not me!  I was the mom who embarrassed my children by insisting those who had birthdays at least two months apart had to have their party together. 

            Well times have changed for sure and these days you can’t have a party unless it is peanut free, egg free, gluten free, and oh hell everything has to be free of some type of ingredient!  Moms must know the updated “in” character for the birthday party theme as parties are just not cool if they are not branded.  You cannot just have plain paper plates and napkins unless you want to be the social outcast.  Everything has to match so if you have Pokémon plates then the hats, streamers, napkins, cups and blowers all better be Pokémon as well.

            It has become a competitive fight for the perfect venue, perfect party, number of guests (apparently the more guests you have the more popular you or your child is) food, and of course the loot bags.  Those friggn’ loot bags!  What the hell ever happened to a plain lunch bag filled with candy?  Oh no, now it is a huge deal and the gifts you put in that fancy or licensed bag costs almost as much as buying an actual birthday present!  It is my belief that loot bags today cost at least ten dollars and up per child.  Ridiculous I know.

            I have to admit though, when I only had my first two children I fell prey to this whole birthday party business.  Boy did I!  Being a former National gymnast I suppose I have a few competitive bones in me and I spent hours making the perfect loot bags.  One of my hobbies is to crochet so when year I actually crocheted the bags and matching hats for the girls, and special Pokemon sacs to hold the trading cards for the boys.  I did a lot of crocheting let me tell you.  I must have been crazy or something.

            Now the whole birthday party is completely different.  If the child really wants a party at a special venue then he or she must share the party with whatever sibling has a birthday closest to them.  For example Sebastian wanted his party at this new indoor playground.  Zachary’s birthday is a month after Sebastian’s and wanted his party there as well.  So I booked one party and they each were allowed eight guests.  This way they both got what they wanted and I only had to pay for one party, saving me about three hundred dollars or so. 

            As my gang of children grew the parties at home became more of a reality.  I am lucky that all but one of my children’s birthdays fall in the spring or summer so it is very easy to plan a party at the house in the backyard.  The children love it, the costs are much as I only have to pay for a few pizza’s, snack food, cake and the loot bags.

            As a mom who has been through many birthday parties I encourage you to try not to fall victim to the competitive birthday party race.  Be creative, and get your child involved in the preparations so they can enjoy themselves more.  If they are turning eight tell them they can only invite eight guests.  If you are brave enough to have a sleep over then cut the guest list in half.  Now speaking of sleepovers there is another alternative you can try – a sleepover without the children actually sleeping at your home.  You have them come in their p.j.’s and bring their pillow, sleeping bags etc..plan for pizza, chips, and then depending on the children and ages, have a make-over session, or a movie and then the guests get picked up at say ten or eleven (again depends on the ages).  The loot bags can even be related to the theme.  If you had a make-over then put lip gloss, fancy soaps and face clothes in the bags.  If it is a party for boys relate it to the movie, for example if it was star wars movie then add a star wars figurine or trading cards in the bags.  Having a simple party may ease your anxiety levels, trim the competitiveness, and save your sanity.  You may be surprised at what a great time you child has.

 

 

 

 

True thoughts of a pregnant mom

In Uncategorized on September 13, 2010 at 1:57 pm

 

            I don’t usually post about things like this but last night I had the strangest thought.  Actually it wasn’t just strange but scary as well.  I suddenly had this overwhelming fear of what if I prefer one baby over the other?  How crazy is that?  God knows I am no stranger to parenting, and most of my children were close in age (18 months apart, 15 months apart, and 14 months apart) so I am accustomed to having two young ones together but here is the difference – by the time the new baby arrived the other baby had its own time with me, and developed his or her own personality.  This is going to be so different I will have two babies who are identical and pretty well at the same stages together PLUS six other children to tend to!  Now that is just crazy in itself. 

            Even though these little babes are identical they will still have their own little personalities and individual likes / dislikes I assume, which brings me back to my original thought.  I suppose my thoughts are somewhat similar to those of a mother pregnant with her second or third child who asks herself “how can I find enough love for all my children?” “How can I spend time with all my children and still meet the demands of a newborn?”

            I know as soon as these little ones are born and I look at their little cute faces all of these thoughts will vanish.  I will do what I have done with all of my children.  Love them, nourish them, and be there for them.  With so many children you do what you have to do and it is amazing how a mother can survive so little sleep, and everything else that goes on.  It is an inner strength that is reserved for such times.

            But for now I do have another crazy thought that maybe not so crazy.  I am not a tall woman.  (Okay I am damn small)  What if my belly gets so big that I can’t even drive?  Now that would actually be sort of funny.

          What types of strange thoughts and fears did you have while you were pregnant?

THE LAST ONE IS OFF

In Uncategorized on September 2, 2010 at 2:01 am

                   As soon as Ryley’s fourth birthday had almost arrived one of the questions that kept coming up was “what are you going to do with yourself when all the children are finally in school?”

They then go on to portray a dismal picture of a lonely mother who plucks a hot wheel car and polly pockets out of the toilet and sobs uncontrollably into them, “My children! My children!” A woman who wanders through the house, unfulfilled, and fighting bravely against the realization that she has been replaced by a building filled with screaming youngsters and teachers she would like to sue for alienation of affection. A somewhat disillusioned mother without purpose who must somehow fill her day until the clock strikes three twenty, signalling its time to fetch the children from the dreaded place they call school.

Now unfortunately for some mothers this may be a rather accurate and sad prediction. This is the woman who didn’t have too many interests in the first place until her children came along, and then they were the answers to her problems. Suddenly she had a social schedule filled with playdates, was meeting new friends, had a reason to dress in real clothes each day and even wear some make up. She wore her children like a hat on her head and told everyone how much they needed her, when in fact it was her who needed them. To insane mothers such as me the first day of school for Ryley will be glorious! It will be over, and I will have done it. I will be able to get some well deserved peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and wanted them all but they haven’t always fulfilled my ambitions or help with my struggles for individuality.

 Some woman I know have emerged like beautiful butterflies from a cocoon like existence that was limited to naps, peanut free snacks, and driving children around. I have seen some assume leadership roles, and others develop artistic talents that surprised everyone including themselves. Unfortunately though I have also see some sink into depression, scrub the house from top to bottom, and mechanically repeat the same excuse, “I can’t….I have to deal with the children.”

From a woman who has lived through five starting school and another one starting I give you this advice. Allow yourself the luxury of one last look as he walks into the class, crying, as he begs for you to take him back home with you. When you finally get home pour yourself a cup of coffee or a stiff drink if you prefer and cry for at least ten minutes. Then if you still haven’t suffered enough take a walk around the house and let the quiet penetrate your eardrums. If you really want you can enjoy a round of guilt complex as well. (“Why did I yell at him this morning for drawing all over the bathroom wall with permanent marker?”) Now when that is all said and done, stand straight, take a big swig of your drink, then take a deep breath and look outside (if you can find a window that isn’t smeared with finger prints) and give yourself a pat on the back. There is a big world out there. Now go and enjoy it! I know I will.