In Uncategorized on September 2, 2010 at 2:01 am

                   As soon as Ryley’s fourth birthday had almost arrived one of the questions that kept coming up was “what are you going to do with yourself when all the children are finally in school?”

They then go on to portray a dismal picture of a lonely mother who plucks a hot wheel car and polly pockets out of the toilet and sobs uncontrollably into them, “My children! My children!” A woman who wanders through the house, unfulfilled, and fighting bravely against the realization that she has been replaced by a building filled with screaming youngsters and teachers she would like to sue for alienation of affection. A somewhat disillusioned mother without purpose who must somehow fill her day until the clock strikes three twenty, signalling its time to fetch the children from the dreaded place they call school.

Now unfortunately for some mothers this may be a rather accurate and sad prediction. This is the woman who didn’t have too many interests in the first place until her children came along, and then they were the answers to her problems. Suddenly she had a social schedule filled with playdates, was meeting new friends, had a reason to dress in real clothes each day and even wear some make up. She wore her children like a hat on her head and told everyone how much they needed her, when in fact it was her who needed them. To insane mothers such as me the first day of school for Ryley will be glorious! It will be over, and I will have done it. I will be able to get some well deserved peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and wanted them all but they haven’t always fulfilled my ambitions or help with my struggles for individuality.

 Some woman I know have emerged like beautiful butterflies from a cocoon like existence that was limited to naps, peanut free snacks, and driving children around. I have seen some assume leadership roles, and others develop artistic talents that surprised everyone including themselves. Unfortunately though I have also see some sink into depression, scrub the house from top to bottom, and mechanically repeat the same excuse, “I can’t….I have to deal with the children.”

From a woman who has lived through five starting school and another one starting I give you this advice. Allow yourself the luxury of one last look as he walks into the class, crying, as he begs for you to take him back home with you. When you finally get home pour yourself a cup of coffee or a stiff drink if you prefer and cry for at least ten minutes. Then if you still haven’t suffered enough take a walk around the house and let the quiet penetrate your eardrums. If you really want you can enjoy a round of guilt complex as well. (“Why did I yell at him this morning for drawing all over the bathroom wall with permanent marker?”) Now when that is all said and done, stand straight, take a big swig of your drink, then take a deep breath and look outside (if you can find a window that isn’t smeared with finger prints) and give yourself a pat on the back. There is a big world out there. Now go and enjoy it! I know I will.

  1. I have this tiny window of opportunity now that the littlest one is at Kindergarten. About three hours. The house needs to be cleaned. The blog wants to be written. Friends have time for breakfast. Then there’s the shopping, the doctors, the cooking and baking, the garden, sport… My list goes on. And on. And on.
    In between, someone’s sent home sick from school, or goes in late to work or just asks if I can drop something off.
    One little word:


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