8packmom

Archive for the ‘Mommy Politics’ Category

THE MOM’S WE HATE (OR WANT TO BE)

In Mommy Politics on March 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm

THE MOM’S WE HATE (OR WANT TO BE)

We all have this image of what motherhood is about and whether it is that of the Super Working Mom, the Sports Mom, the Earth Muffin Mom, the Stage Mom, the Stay at Home Mom, or any type of mom that is out there, after joining the ranks of motherhood we all attempt to become one of them. Here is my take on what types of moms are out there.

The Earth Muffin Mom (EMM)

This mother is also known to everyone as the “No one else has given birth before” mom who will immediately let you know that you are not a ‘real mom’ if you didn’t have a home birth with an amazing doula, said yes to the drugs, don’t serve organic food, don’t home school, and don’t give a shit about global warming. After she’s sat down with her organic tea and ensured her second-grader has a good latch, she’ll happily tell you why you failed at breastfeeding, where you are going wrong as a parent and how you can fix it.

The Techno Mom (TM)

This is the mom who has her blackberry, Smart phone, or I phone glued to her ear 24/7 and pretends to listen to her children as she responds with a steady stream of “uh-huhs”, “that’s nice” “one second sweetie” and “mommy’s almost done”.

Beauty Queen Mom (BQM)

Hard to believe but her newborns Burberry sleeper is the equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment on your house, and the UGG boots she sports actually coordinate with her diaper bag and baby bottles. This photo-ready Mommy always looks as though she just stepped out of a fashion magazine and is ready to walk the red carpet, and her children? Well they wear more designer labels on their tiny butts than your closet will ever house in a lifetime.

Sports mom from Hell (SMFH)

Watch out! This is a mama with an agenda, that being getting her child to the Olympics, or to the big leagues and she will stop at nothing. Sideline rage is a daily activity, and she sees nothing wrong with threatening the gymnastics coach.  Just throw on the leotard, get on the high beam and do the damn back handspring connection yourself.  If you actually suspect you may be one of these mommy’s here are a few friendly reminders:  soccer is not a full contact sport, and Tae Kwon Do is the art of kicking and punching for the purpose of self defence – not kicking the crap out of someone because you’ve had a bad day.

Stage Mom (SM)

This is the mother who is living her dreams of stardom through her offspring.  She has them signed up with the agent, rushes around to auditions, and is willing to do anything (and I mean anything) to ensure her child is the next Oscar nominee.

Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)

This is the mother that is fortunate enough to stay at home with her children while her perfect husband goes out and makes the dough.  She is the neighbourhood Martha Stewart, attends all school functions, cooks the perfect dinners, bakes the perfect cupcakes for those school functions and did I forget to mention her house is immaculate as is the Mini Van she drives?

Super Working Mom (SWM)

She again has an immaculate house and Mini Van, (and usually has a sporty mommy car that she drives around in looking so very cool when she is without children) holds down a full time job, has time to bake picture perfect muffins, cakes and cookies for school functions, has time to take her children to evening activities and watch them.  She has the perfect husband and perfect children, and would appear to have the perfectly balanced life and the ability to do it all. 

Recognize yourself?  What type of Mother are you? Do you like yourself or wish you could be another type of mother and if so which one?

 

The child who struggles

In Mommy Politics on December 8, 2010 at 3:22 pm

            When my fourth child Arielle was only 3 or 4 years old I often wondered about her.  At times she would appear to be so bright, but then other times….well let’s just say I honestly thought maybe she was a bit of an air head and perhaps it would improve as she got older.

            When she was 4 years old we moved to Saskatchewan and had to put her into pre-school because the Province of Saskatchewan feels it is better to start kindergarten when they are 5 not 4.  In the town we lived in they only offered Pre-school two afternoons a week.  Not much but I figured it was better than nothing.

            During our 9 month stay in SK I was very focused on my son Zachary who at the time was only 2 years old.  He was following the path of his older brother and showing signs of an autistic disorder.  Signs I could no longer ignore, so the time I wanted to spend with Arielle on building her academic skills in preparation for SK was pretty well non-existent. 

            After 9 months in Saskatchewan, I moved back to Ontario for various reasons which I will save for another story.  In September Arielle was registered for SK but I was shocked to discover after about a month that she was really far behind.  How much do these children actually learn in JK?  I seriously didn’t think that missing a year of JK would be such an issue, but obviously I was wrong as she struggled quite a bit that year in memorizing her letters and numbers along with her ability to comprehend things.  Finally the year ended and appeared as though she had managed to catch up to the rest of the children so I was relieved and feeling a little less guilty.  After all, maybe it was my fault that she had struggled because I couldn’t spend the time required with her.

            I made the decision to enrol her in the French immersion program for grade 1 knowing that we would have to see how she did.  If she showed any signs of struggling we would move her into the English program.  Her first report card in November was great – straight B’s and no signs of lacking behind of struggling.  Phew!  I was so happy.  But my happiness turned to concern by February and March when I started to think that Arielle wasn’t really understanding a whole lot and when you had a conversation with her she would suddenly come up with statement out of nowhere that had nothing to do with what we were talking about and she really didn’t understand what was wrong with that.  She was angry a lot and although social she really didn’t have to many friends.

            I requested that she be tested for a learning disability and the school did some basic testing which raised a few flags but they were not really sure because she had been in the French for almost a year so they felt maybe that may be influencing her scores.  I made the decision to finish the year in French but have her in the English program for grade 2.

            Well here we are at grade 2 and things are worse.  Despite being in a reading program, she still really can’t read and doesn’t really understand what it is she is reading.  She is being bullied in class by a few girls, and is always angry and yelling at her siblings.  I know something is wrong and so I have set out to do something about it.

            Many parents are unaware of the services available at schools free of charge.  One of those services is called a psycho-educational testing.  This is a comprehensive testing that helps establish your child’s strengths, weakness, academic abilities, and establishes if there is any type of learning disability.  It is completed by a psychologist provided through the school board and takes months to complete but it is worth it.  If you were to have this completed by a private psychologist it would cost you about $2000 – $3000 dollars. 

            Any child is allowed to receive this service however schools will not usually do it until the child is in grade 2.  The wait lists can be very long so if you suspect an issue with your child’s ability to learn then you should request it even if they are only in grade 1 and have them put on the waiting list.

            I met with my schools Principal last week regarding my concerns with Arielle and she is on the wait list.  Do not be afraid to approach your teacher and the school’s Principal if you have a concern.  Your child has rights and to be honest most schools are very supportive and really what is the harm?  If there are no issues great, but if there are then you now have it in writing and are equipped with the tools to deal with it so your child does not need to struggle any more.

            Have you ever requested your child be tested?  Has your school dismissed your concerns about your child?  Send me a note and let me know.

Until next time,The6packmom

 

THE SNACK

In Mommy Politics on July 19, 2010 at 2:47 pm

            With summer vacation into full swing I am continually hearing the proverbial comments of “I’m bored!”  “There is nothing to do!”  and the never ending “What’s there to eat?”

            Now in my house of six children it is not an uncommon sight to walk into the kitchen and see a behind or two sticking out of the fridge.  It seems as though there is always one or two children rummaging through the fridge to find that perfect snack.  But when did snacks become such a big deal?  Back in the day when I was just a wee girl we ate three meals.  Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.  A ‘snack’ was something you had maybe between lunch and dinner and it usually consisted of perhaps and apple or maybe a cookie. 

            Over the past twelve years (or at least I started noticing this phenomenon after my first was born) snacks have become the biggest thing ever.  As a mother (or at least if you are a good mother) you are expected to provide snacks between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner and then again sometime before they head off to bed.  We wonder why so many children are fighting obesity! 

            But that’s not all! Oh no my fellow parents, your snacks have to be nut free, milk free, gluten free and wheat free.  They must be nutritious and the presentation of the snack must be beautiful and flawless!  Really I do admire these parents that can provide this type of behaviour on a daily basis because they obviously have nothing better to do with their day, but whatever happened to “get it yourself, don’t make a mess, and make sure you clean up!”   

            Maybe this is why my children are so independent (although some supermoms would disagree and just consider my children to be disrespectful and bratty.)  If I feel up to it I will provide a beautiful, flawless, and oh so nutritious snack, however, this is usually done if I am expecting my own friends over and then I’ll throw in a bottle of wildberry or wine.

            When my children want a ‘snack’ I tell them to get it themselves – and they do, even the three year old.  I don’t consider this as me being a lazy or mean mother; I believe it is me being a teacher.  Teaching my children important life skills along with the art of independence.

            Do you provide your children with wonderful thought out snacks that take a good chunk of time out of your day?  Or are you like me, a teacher?  I want to know!

THE RISK OF PARENTING (IN A LOUSY MESSED UP WORLD)

In Mommy Politics on July 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm

                When I was pregnant with my sixth child I received so many unwelcome stares and comments it was seriously messed up.  I actually had one friend ask me how I could bring another child into this lousy messed world when I had already been blessed with five, one had special needs and my husband is never here. (let it be known she is no longer my friend). 

                How sad.  My other children thought there were many good reasons for me to have so many.

                I need a personal slave, someone to answer the cell phone while I m driving, someone to give directions when I am driving, find my missing truck keys, unload the groceries from the truck, and of course help put the younger children’s in their car seats.

                I needed children around the house to eat all the leftovers that even the neighbour’s dog wouldn’t touch.

                I need someone to shove out of the truck to save a spot in line at the movie theatre while I find a parking spot for the big truck.

                I need someone to run in to Timmies and get my coffee when there isn’t a drive throu.

                I need live- ins to help raise the younger children by taking them to the bathroom every five minutes and babysit for free.

                I need an excuse for my big ass and flabby upper arms.

                I need material for my Christmas newsletter and blogs.

                I need someone to practice psychiatry and medicine on (“if you don’t take your ADHD medicine you will become a wild beast!”)  and  (“Turn down the Ipod or you will go deaf!”)

                That’s their story. Mine of course is even more biased.

                I have brought so many children and will bring even more children into this lousy messed up world because when you love somebody they love you back and the world doesn’t seem so lousy and messed up.

                I have given them life because they have the same right I have been given to decide if this is a lousy messed up world or not.

                More than an image over the dining room table they are special to the universe now and will be when I am long gone.

                Some people decide to take the risk of becoming a parent to a child or children.  If we don’t, then who will be left to listen to ignorant people lament “I don’t want to bring a child into this lousy messed up world.”?

Why You Need Friends

In Mommy Politics on June 5, 2010 at 4:52 am

Okay I admit it.  I am part of the Parent council at my childrens school.  I volunteer when I can because I like to be involved in my childrens education particularly because two of them are autistic.  But the other day I overheard another mother make the comment that she doesn’t bother with the parent council because she hasn’t got time to sit around gossiping, drinking coffee, and listening to school politics.  I had to laugh.  Wouldn’t all of us mommy volunteers prefer to be sitting around with the hot looking fathers, but seeing as that isn’t going to happen, then I’ll take the parent council!  Really I have made some good friends at the school, and if it wasn’t for some of them I would probably be a Platnium level bitch by now as opposed to a gold level one.  But her comment did make think about the people that I have met, and so I came up with a list of why a few of these these women have become close friends.

  1. They don’t mind babysitting my children.  All six of them.
  2. They do give me the look when I spend over $500 at Costco, come home unpack it all, then ask to borrow a bag of milk.
  3. They can call me up and order me to get my crazy children out of their house.
  4. Don’t assume I am having an affair just because I comment on a hot daddy.
  5. Doesn’t sulk when you have a mommy’s night out, without them.
  6. Doesn’t feel they have the right to offer advice on your marriage just because they listen to me whine about it atleast three times a day.
  7. After kicking at leasty twenty toys out of their way just to get through my front hallway they don’t ask why I haven’t cleaned up.
  8. After two glasses of wildberry they don’t suggest I stop.  Instead they hand me over the whole bottle.
  9. Don’t suggest I need more sleep, but suggest maybe I really need the hot daddy.
  10. Never say to me six children!  How do you do it?

There you have it.  Show me a mommy who doesn’t need the Parent council and I’ll show you a mommy who gets talked about the ones who do!