8packmom

Posts Tagged ‘children’

FAMILY FEUD

In Daily life on February 22, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Family Feud

As soon as the twins arrived home the same two questions have been asked by almost everyone I have spoken to.  “Do you plan to hire a nanny?” and “Once the hubby leaves do you have help set up?”

First of all I have never been a fan of nanny’s.  I don’t really know why but I suppose the thought of someone else raising my children just doesn’t sit well with me.  I am fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my children, so why would I pay someone to help raise them?  Now as for the issue of extra help, I have six other children and let me tell you the fighting has already started.  Yes you read correctly they have been fighting over who gets to help with what and how unfair it is that so and so held Thatcher for 8.5 minutes and they only held him for 8.2 minutes! 

Perhaps it was actually myself who started this family feud, after all I thought it was a great idea to start the assembly line and teach them all how to change diapers, (yes even the 4 year old helps), change Thatcher and Tanners clothing, how to hold them, and how to feed them and burp them when they are bottle fed.  Little did I know that dirty diapers and spit up would have no negative effect on my warped children.  At times I have been slightly overwhelmed as I have had too much help and they want to do it all leaving me with nothing to do but the other household chores such as laundry, dishes and the cooking.

Lucky me.

Then we have the sanitizer police.  That would be my oldest son Joshua.  If you dare visit this household of plenty be sure to put sanitizer on before even thinking about coming anywhere near the twins or you will be attacked with an oversized jar of sanitizer and an 11 year old soon to be black belt informing you of the hazards of touching the babies with germy hands.  Not a pretty sight.

I suppose I should accept this extra help with open arms as I am sure once the babies become more mature and start to look and behave a little less like dolls and more like real babies (the crying spells – colic anyone? No sleeping – getting the picture now?), the novelty will wear off and they will run away when I dare ask for help, or maybe it will be me who will be running?

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Medication and the ADHD child

In Life with my aspie's on July 30, 2010 at 3:20 pm

For most people, a quick glance through my half open front door is enough to send them running down the street screaming. Six children, fifty five arguments, jumping, yelling, hair pulling and a soccer ball or two whizzing past your face.

People always ask me “How do you do it?”  My response is “A glass of wildberry, duct tape, and drugs.”  I may be joking about the duct tape, but when it comes to the drugs that are prescribed for Joshua they have made a huge difference in his daily living.

The decision to put Joshua on medication for his ADHD was never an issue.  The issue was his inability to swallow pills. The Dr. first placed Joshua on 10mg of Ritalin 2x a day.  These pills were tiny and I was able to crush them in a spoon, pour some juice on, and Joshua would swallow it no problem.  The effect was incredible, however, the downfall was with him having to take it 2x a day, this meant that I to go to his school at lunch time and give him his second dose. The other problem was that the effects of the medication lasted on average two to three hours, so by the time school was over, I was assaulted with verbal and physical assaults, and wild behaviour due to the medication wearing off.

As Rick Hodges points out in his article “Making Meds Work.” (ADDitude Spring 2010) it can take eight to ten weeks before the right dose of medication is determined and sometimes changes may need to be made.  This was the case for Joshua. After about 6 months of his roller coaster ride we decided to try Biphentin a longer lasting medication, which is made up of granules that can be sprinkled onto apple sauce, or as Joshua prefers with juice on a spoon.   

Once on medication, some Dr’s recommend that the ADHD child take a “Vacation” from them on weekends and during holidays. I know many families who do this and have no problems. We tried this approach and it didn’t work.  We had more things broken, twice the amount of fights with siblings, and Joshua actually told me he didn’t like his behaviour when he was off his medication.  That was all it took for me.

Is your ADHD child on medication?  Do you take a vacation from them during holidays?  Post your comment below and let me know what’s worked for you.

Until next time

The 6packmom

THE NAME GAME

In Daily life on July 6, 2010 at 6:55 pm

            The moment a woman knows she is pregnant the name game starts.  The name game in our house has always been left up to my husband.  If I have to suffer 9 months of indigestion, reflux, weight gain, varicose veins, mood swings and a baby kicking my insides like some tae kwon do champion then that is the least he can do.  However something that should be so simple often becomes this obsessive issue that goes on for almost the entire pregnancy.  He insists on ensuring that each child has a proper middle name so that the child’s initials means something. 

            For example my oldest daughters initials are M.I.K. giving her the nick name MIK, Joshua’s are JFK, Sebastian’s SDK, Arielle ASK, Zachary ZAK, and Ryley RAK – my husband likes this one the best and says hopefully Ryley will be a boob man when he gets older so he can really appreciate the initials – I think my husband is just a pig.

            Now I must give him credit, the children have lovely names and wonderful initials that mean something (to him at least) however, six children later I can’t even remember who is who.

            The children seem to believe there is something Freudian in the entire name calling thing.  Their attempts to make me feel guilty by claiming that if I really loved them I wouldn’t forget who they are, is useless. I love Mary……. Dick……. Trisha …….. Sam ……… and with the same affection I love Jake ……. Marie ……. Ryley….. Sab ….. okay they know who they are.

            It is a good day when I actually remember what I called the child for in the first place, let alone what their name is.  I mean really they should be grateful for that at least!  Maybe because there are so many children running around and then add the fact that I have lost so many brain cells, I get confused.  I came up with a pretty good solution though.  I call them by number.  “Hey number one get down here!”  Marie is old enough and bright enough to know that she is the first born so typically she will respond. 

            Some don’t get it though like lucky number three Sebastian.  I shouted out to him several times the other day.  “Josh……. Marie……. er…..er…..Sam….number three! Okay how long to have to shout before you answer me?”

            “When you get it right!” he shouted back.

            “Well I was close…wasn’t I?”

            “Sam was sort of close.”

            “Hmmm I always like the name Sam.  I should have told Daddy to give you that name.” I mused.

            “Why then did you name me Sebastian?” He demanded.

            “Well daddy liked it, and it was easy for me to remember.”

THE RISK OF PARENTING (IN A LOUSY MESSED UP WORLD)

In Mommy Politics on July 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm

                When I was pregnant with my sixth child I received so many unwelcome stares and comments it was seriously messed up.  I actually had one friend ask me how I could bring another child into this lousy messed world when I had already been blessed with five, one had special needs and my husband is never here. (let it be known she is no longer my friend). 

                How sad.  My other children thought there were many good reasons for me to have so many.

                I need a personal slave, someone to answer the cell phone while I m driving, someone to give directions when I am driving, find my missing truck keys, unload the groceries from the truck, and of course help put the younger children’s in their car seats.

                I needed children around the house to eat all the leftovers that even the neighbour’s dog wouldn’t touch.

                I need someone to shove out of the truck to save a spot in line at the movie theatre while I find a parking spot for the big truck.

                I need someone to run in to Timmies and get my coffee when there isn’t a drive throu.

                I need live- ins to help raise the younger children by taking them to the bathroom every five minutes and babysit for free.

                I need an excuse for my big ass and flabby upper arms.

                I need material for my Christmas newsletter and blogs.

                I need someone to practice psychiatry and medicine on (“if you don’t take your ADHD medicine you will become a wild beast!”)  and  (“Turn down the Ipod or you will go deaf!”)

                That’s their story. Mine of course is even more biased.

                I have brought so many children and will bring even more children into this lousy messed up world because when you love somebody they love you back and the world doesn’t seem so lousy and messed up.

                I have given them life because they have the same right I have been given to decide if this is a lousy messed up world or not.

                More than an image over the dining room table they are special to the universe now and will be when I am long gone.

                Some people decide to take the risk of becoming a parent to a child or children.  If we don’t, then who will be left to listen to ignorant people lament “I don’t want to bring a child into this lousy messed up world.”?

HOLIDAY BLISS

In BOOK EXCERPTS on June 22, 2010 at 3:20 am

Confession #9: In my BTBCD (before the brats came days) I used to dream of happy family gatherings, a  beautifully decorated home, and peace on earth…. now two weeks before school lets out for the holiday break,  I rush to the Dr’s and beg for Prozac.

People who have less than two children often comment how fun Christmas must be in our home with so many children.  Seriously?  Now we know why they only have two or less children if they even have any at all. I really do not do any special planning per say although about a week before school lets out I get into a feverish hyper state and ensure I complete the following:

1. Most important buy LOTS of tylenol Candy canes.

2. Have lots of empty closets to lock the children in hide the presents.

3. Buy all my Christmas duct tape presents early when on sale.

4. Buy lots of alchol juice for the children to drink.

5. Have a good storage of Kleenex.

6. Make sure all flu shots are completed.

7. See my therapist daily before the big day.

8. Get my prescription for Prozac filled.

9. Ensure there is enough Ritalin in the house for those who show any signs of ADHD.

10. Buy myself an updated IPod with good earplugs.

11. Develop an attitude of who cares who ruins the house it’s Christmas.

12. Count the days down to when school starts back and wish my two youngest were full day.

13. Sing “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” when school finally starts back.

14. Thank the heavens that all my children look alike so that when the camera battery is dead and I can’t take any more photo’s I can pull out those from a few years ago and lie smile and say “Oh yes there you are!’  (come on we all do it).

15. So thankful that I have an aspie son who knows how to put together everything better than I do.  Who needs a husband?

Cell phone crisis

In Daily life on June 21, 2010 at 5:48 am

I was looking at my new hip cell phone the other day and realized there is a small hazard in having it.  I call it the cell phone crisis.

At least once a day while I am out somewhere I will be summoned to answer my cell phone only to hear the voice of one of my six children saying “Mom we don’t like the babysitter she’s mean.  Can we ditch her and go to the park?”

Remembering I am in a public place, I will attempt to keep my composure and shout “You ditch the babysitter and I will kill you!”

Now for obvious reasons I cannot leave my children in the care of their father or a babysitter without them having my cell number, but then I am left in a precarious situation as my children like to stalk me while I am out.  Some of the things they phone me for are really ridiculous, however if I chose not to answer their calls I would be assaulted with such terrible guilt.  What if they were being hurt, what if the house was on fire, what if, what if, what if…. and so I answer it.  Every time just so my children can electrify me with urgent decisions such as the following:

“Can I have a pop?”

“Can I split a can of pop with Marie?”

“Guess what Ryley did?”

“I got an A on my math test.”

“Guess what daddy said about you?”

My cell phone crisis typically reaches a feverish pitch when I have to be out for more than just a few hours and I am struck with fear by the following call:

“Mom this is Joshua.”

“Give me the phone! Mom this is Arielle, tell Joshua to stop hitting me!”

“I didn’t hit her! She went outside to the neighbours!”

“Mommy ,this is Ryley. When are you coming home?”

Me “Where is the babysitter?”

“She’s on her cell phone, talking to her boyfriend.”

“Mom Joshua hit me again!”

“I kicked you!”

“I’m bleeding! Moooooom!”

Click.

Imagine the calls I would get if I had a job?

excerpt from book

In Uncategorized on May 25, 2010 at 5:00 am

Confession #2 I used to be Go-Go dancer and very sexy. Then I had children.

It was never part of the plan to have so many children, it just kind of happened.  I guess it didn’t help that my husband, like most men, loves sex.  (Okay.  I admit it, so do I, but that’s beside the point).  After the first offspring was conceived, it just made sense that by the time she was 6 months old she should have a sibling.  Well it made sense to me at least. And so that is how it started.  I became a baby machine maker of sorts.  Penis in, maybe for more than a few minutes if I was lucky, baby conceived, bye, bye sexy body, baby yanked out, feel like shit, let’s start again!  

            I truly believe that there is truth in the claim that women lose brain cells while pregnant. God knows how many I have lost but I am sure it is in the millions!  Hell, I had six children over the course of 8 years.  If I wasn’t pregnant, I was breastfeeding, if I wasn’t breastfeeding, I was drinking, if I wasn’t drinking then I was pregnant again.  I did make me feel good to be supporting the diaper industry. It’s just too bad they didn’t feel the same desire to support me by handing out free diapers!  I attempted to use cloth diapers, I mean why not? By the time my fourth was born I was up to about 3 loads of laundry a day anyhow.  Yeah right, that really lasted.  Suddenly I had even more laundry piling up, and if I didn’t have a baby on my boob, then I was changing a diaper because everything he took out of my boobs was now coming out – well you get the picture.  I just wasn’t ready to be supermom.  Not yet anyway. 

Speaking of supermoms if you are reading this then please stop now and go buy a Martha Stewart book.  If you choose to continue than I cannot be responsible for the ugly feelings that may be spewed within your brain.

Please….scream louder

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2010 at 5:46 am

Well little Zachary has had a rough few weeks but the other day was a real woozie.  I seriously thought his screaming and meltdowns couldn’t get any worse.  It did.  On our way home from school Friday I pulled out of the kiss n’ ride and he started crying about his seat belt not feeling right.  Joshua who knows all to well when things “don’t feel right” tried fixing his belt.  The screaming and crying got louder as he complained it was twisted. It wasn’t.  But to a child on the spectrum it doesn’t matter if we don’t see it twisted.  He feels it and can’t cope.  Just before we got to our house Joshua adjusted it again.  I park the car in the driveway and all hell breaks loose as he starts screaming for me to turn around and go back we have to start all over.  He kicks the seat infront of his and gets hysterical when I tell him we can’t go back. 

I will let you in on a secret.  When Joshua was about the same age if I did not take the exact route home every day the same thing would occur and he would beg through his screaming and tears to please go back and start again because it wasn’t right.  This was before I knew anything was wrong and felt as though I somehow did something to distress my own child that yes, I would actually turn around and start all over just so I wouldn’t have to deal with a two hour meltdown.  Thankfully gas was cheaper then!

After about fifteen minutes of Zachary still in the car hitting me, screaming and refusing to let me take his seat belt off I finally got him into the house where he screamed, ripped up a picture he had done in school, and then ran out of the house screaming for me to take him back and start again.  I brought him back in only to have a meltdown of swearing, throwing things, hitting me, scratching, jumping up and down and begging me to please take him back.  Finally he was exusted after about an hour of this and started banging his head on the chair as he rocked back and forth with his blankie.  My 6 year old daughter Arielle and 7 year old son Sebastian were happy he finally had stopped and came downstairs out of hiding.

It can be difficult some days – okay most days – but as my little Ryley continued to sleep through it all, and my other 4 sat around Zachary (not too close of course) to listen as I read Zaks library book “Franklin and the dark” I realized that I couldn’t have asked for 6 better children.

My Parenting Column

In Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 at 6:28 pm

I have always wondered how “Parenting experts” actually get that title.  Seriously what makes them experts?  Is it the fact that they have children, or that they are a Doctor, a psychologist? So if I have more than one dog would that make me an expert?  Well I have always wanted to have my own parenting advice column and considering I have six children maybe that makes me an expert.  I really don’t think so, but I do believe that I have lots of experience and advice that I could offer.  Here is an example of what my column might look like:

Dear 6packmom

My eleven year old daughter refuses to get out of bed in the morning, and when she finally does get up, she is grumpy and rude to everyone.  Do you have any suggestions for helping her have a better attitude in the mornings?

CL

Dear CL

Have you examined what time she is going to bed?  Although she may not appear to be tired when it is time for lights out, perhaps you need to adjust her bedtime for half an hour earlier.  Her refusal to get out of bed may indicate another type of problem altogether.  Perhaps she is attempting to avoid going to school.  Is she finding a particular subject too hard? Has she has a disagreement with a friend?  Friendship issues can be very complex at this age.  I would suggest seizing the moment when she is a good mood, to sit down and talk to her.  Explain to her that you are concerned about her behaviour in the mornings and ask her if there is anything you can do to help.  If nothing comes about from talking to her, or setting an earlier bedtime, then perhaps the old method of a cup of water on the head would be a better option?

Dear 6packmom

My children refuse to eat what I set out for them at dinner time.  Any suggestions?

LK

Have you actually taken a good look at what you are serving?  Have you yourself eaten it?  If you answered yes to both and still feel your cooking is good then here are a few suggestions.

Inform your children that if they do not wish to eat their dinner then you will undress right there at the table.  Trust me, the thought of their mother naked will get them gobbling up anything that may be on their plate!  Just be sure to follow through on that threat however.

If you are not prepared to get naked, then maybe serve dinner buffet style.  Most children are more willing to eat if they have a few options rather than being told what they have to eat.

Do not force them to “clean their plate” so called parenting experts suggest that by doing so you may actually enforce bad eating habbits and attitudes which may lead to eating issues later on in life.

If all else fails just let them be.  Do not allow them to leave the table until everyone else is done eating.  They won’t starve.

LOL Have any questions you want to shoot my way?  I will be more than happy to answer and offer what I can.

Till next time, the6packmom

Electrical Storm

In Daily life, Uncategorized on April 25, 2010 at 11:26 pm

I was trying to ignore yet another autistic daily meltdown, when my 10 year old son started telling me about some electrical storm that is heading our way. According to him the internet is going to be wiped out over the next 24 hrs! Asperger children are never wrong about things like this! Before time runs out, my last blog will be dedicated to clearing up a few myths about what life is really like with six children and a traveling husband.  

Sex still happens, after all, this is how I was awarded my position in hell my household.  Be prepared though, it won’t always take place in the bedroom!

No wall paper required. My children have ripped it and drawn all over the walls.

The bathroom is the local hangout for planet heroes and polly pockets.

Toilet paper doesn’t replace itself.

Duct tape is always on hand to tie the children up for emergencies.

“Spotless” and” toy free home” are not in my vocabulary.

My sleeves have been used to wipe snotty noses, and my socking feet to wipe up spills on the floor. (admit it, you’ve done it).

All my children are talented. Cutting bed sheets at age 4, peeing everywhere except in the toilet, setting up cable in their bedroom on their own, being a first class brat, drawing on walls, & talking on the phone for hours.

There is no such thing as childproof.

Parents of large families DO fantasize about being childless, at least for a few hours.

Meltdowns happen daily and more than once.

Family time really means sending your children outside and enjoying a glass of wine – alone.

Benadryl is my best friend.

** This blog was written for a contest.