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Posts Tagged ‘sports’

THE MOM’S WE HATE (OR WANT TO BE)

In Mommy Politics on March 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm

THE MOM’S WE HATE (OR WANT TO BE)

We all have this image of what motherhood is about and whether it is that of the Super Working Mom, the Sports Mom, the Earth Muffin Mom, the Stage Mom, the Stay at Home Mom, or any type of mom that is out there, after joining the ranks of motherhood we all attempt to become one of them. Here is my take on what types of moms are out there.

The Earth Muffin Mom (EMM)

This mother is also known to everyone as the “No one else has given birth before” mom who will immediately let you know that you are not a ‘real mom’ if you didn’t have a home birth with an amazing doula, said yes to the drugs, don’t serve organic food, don’t home school, and don’t give a shit about global warming. After she’s sat down with her organic tea and ensured her second-grader has a good latch, she’ll happily tell you why you failed at breastfeeding, where you are going wrong as a parent and how you can fix it.

The Techno Mom (TM)

This is the mom who has her blackberry, Smart phone, or I phone glued to her ear 24/7 and pretends to listen to her children as she responds with a steady stream of “uh-huhs”, “that’s nice” “one second sweetie” and “mommy’s almost done”.

Beauty Queen Mom (BQM)

Hard to believe but her newborns Burberry sleeper is the equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment on your house, and the UGG boots she sports actually coordinate with her diaper bag and baby bottles. This photo-ready Mommy always looks as though she just stepped out of a fashion magazine and is ready to walk the red carpet, and her children? Well they wear more designer labels on their tiny butts than your closet will ever house in a lifetime.

Sports mom from Hell (SMFH)

Watch out! This is a mama with an agenda, that being getting her child to the Olympics, or to the big leagues and she will stop at nothing. Sideline rage is a daily activity, and she sees nothing wrong with threatening the gymnastics coach.  Just throw on the leotard, get on the high beam and do the damn back handspring connection yourself.  If you actually suspect you may be one of these mommy’s here are a few friendly reminders:  soccer is not a full contact sport, and Tae Kwon Do is the art of kicking and punching for the purpose of self defence – not kicking the crap out of someone because you’ve had a bad day.

Stage Mom (SM)

This is the mother who is living her dreams of stardom through her offspring.  She has them signed up with the agent, rushes around to auditions, and is willing to do anything (and I mean anything) to ensure her child is the next Oscar nominee.

Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)

This is the mother that is fortunate enough to stay at home with her children while her perfect husband goes out and makes the dough.  She is the neighbourhood Martha Stewart, attends all school functions, cooks the perfect dinners, bakes the perfect cupcakes for those school functions and did I forget to mention her house is immaculate as is the Mini Van she drives?

Super Working Mom (SWM)

She again has an immaculate house and Mini Van, (and usually has a sporty mommy car that she drives around in looking so very cool when she is without children) holds down a full time job, has time to bake picture perfect muffins, cakes and cookies for school functions, has time to take her children to evening activities and watch them.  She has the perfect husband and perfect children, and would appear to have the perfectly balanced life and the ability to do it all. 

Recognize yourself?  What type of Mother are you? Do you like yourself or wish you could be another type of mother and if so which one?